Raising Godly Women

Bonus Episode: Conversations with Charnae

Sebra Ferrell Season 2

S02 – Bonus Episode: Conversations with Charnae

Show Notes

Welcome to the second bonus episode of Season Two.  Join us as Sebra and her guests Charnae and Ms Patricia discuss the heart of Raising Godly Women and the upcoming series on the armor of God!

In this episode:

  • Intro
  • Conversations with Charnae origins (00:44)
  • The heart of Raising Godly Women and the Titus 2 woman (02:52)
  • Advice and discussion for women struggling to raise their daughters (06:13) 
  • We might not reap where we sow (11:29)
  • Wear your own armor (13:58)
  • Charnae's pearl of wisdom (19:45)
  • Ms Patricia's prayer request (21:32)
  • Sebra's pearl of wisdom (22:05)

 Scriptures references:

  • The Parable of the Sower and the Seed:
    • Matthew 13:1-23
    •  Mark 4:1-20
    • Luke 8:1-15
  • Additional Scriptures
    • Titus 2:3-5 (Christian Standard Bible)
    • Proverbs 31:10:31
    • 1 Corinthians 3:1-8
    • Matthew 25:21
    • 1 Samuel 17:33-40
    • Ephesians 6:10-18
    • 3 John 1:2
  • Additional Resources
    • Thorny Theresa episode (https://raisinggodlywomen.buzzsprout.com/1792483/9471505-thorny-theresa)

  Websitehttps://raisinggodlywomen.buzzsprout.com/    

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S02 - BONUS EPISODE: Conversations with Charnae

[00:00:00] Khara: Welcome to Season Two of the Raising Godly Women podcast, where we are here to empower a generation of women in their relationship with Christ, so that they can empower the generation behind them. In Season One, we explored the Parable of the Sower and the Seed, which is all about the soil of our hearts.

[00:00:17] Khara: We personified each of the soils and shared our experiences as we journeyed with these women. So, if you are new to the podcast, we wanna thank you and check out Season One, because it lays the foundation for the path ahead. We are to take time and dress for the journey God has before us. So please join our host Sebra Ferrell for Season Two, as she and her guests take a fresh look and put on the Armor of God. 

[00:00:44] Sebra: Well, hello Charnae. 

[00:00:46] Charnae: Hello Sebra. 

[00:00:48] Sebra: Today is all about new beginnings, and even though this is a part of Season Two, the Armor of God, I feel like today is also a day about new beginnings. It's something that God spoke to my heart this morning, and even as you were driving over this morning for our regular prayer day. He shared the words, conversations with Charnae with me, and then you get here and 

[00:01:14] Charnae: We started talking and I said, Ooh, Sebra. record it. Mm-hmm. And then I shared with you that on my drive over here, I heard in my spirit record what you guys talk about. So, when you said that, it's still blowing my mind. Why do we say that? 

[00:01:28] Sebra: Blowing my mind? 

[00:01:29] Charnae: Yeah. Because it's God. Right. When you still encounter him Yes. It's still so much awe. Yes. I think that's a better way to say it. Yes. I'm in awe. Of God. Because I heard record the conversation and I just kind of went, okay, I'll just tell Sebra not thinking that God is having the same conversation with you. Mm-hmm. So, when I found out that he said that to you, then it brings me in awe and I'm like, what God. So, it's not like I'm shocked in a sense, but it's just in awe. Like, wow, look how God works. 

[00:02:02] Sebra: But it is shocking to me sometimes in a way, especially on days like today when I'm not necessarily feeling a hundred percent, not necessarily feeling like I'm really hearing from the Lord, cuz my body is just all in this chaos.

[00:02:15] Sebra: And in those moments I think it does kind of shock me a little, but it shocks me back into the reality. Mm-hmm. That you are hearing from God. That even in the midst of the storm, all is well. Right. And that he is still present even when you don't feel like he is. Mm-hmm. Right. And that kind of brings me to what you were saying to mom cuz your mother-in-law, beautiful woman, beautiful soul, is here with us today. 

[00:02:42] Charnae: Yes. We have a guest all the way from St. Lucia. Ms. Patricia Joseph. Say hello, mom. 

[00:02:48] Patricia: Hi.  Hello Sebra. Hello Charnae. 

[00:02:52] Sebra: I know, I know, but yeah, you were sharing with her the heart of Raising Godly Women. Mm-hmm. And we've not talked about that in a minute, and the reason why I want to do that before we go into our actual episodes on the Armor of God is to help women know and to understand what this really is about. Because once we start talking about the armor, it's gonna be a whole different ballgame. Right. So, this is kind of the setup for the setup. 

[00:03:24] Charnae: Right. So, I was just explaining to her how this kind of came about in your heart. That this was based on Titus Two, and I'm just gonna take a moment and read. It starts with verse three. This is also the CSB version. 

[00:03:37] Charnae: In the same way older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God's word will not be slandered. 

[00:04:01] Charnae I was just explaining to her that that is the heart of this is that we all love the Proverbs 31 woman, but it's the Titus Two woman that will build the Proverbs 31 woman. 

[00:04:15] Charnae: First thing that stands out to me is it addressed the older woman first. How does she carry herself? How does she walk with God? Mm-hmm. How does she respect her husband? Mm-hmm. How does she raise her children? Mm-hmm. How is she, right? And it's from that place that then she's able to minister and to help to train up younger women. Mm-hmm.

[00:04:36] Charnae: And one thing that I said last podcast, we had my daughter on, and she's younger, right. But she's still a Titus Two woman to someone. Mm-hmm. Yes. Mm-hmm. Because there's a young lady who's younger than her, and so this is not bound by an age.

[00:04:53] Charnae: Yes. Because you can be 16. Mm-hmm. And be a mentor to someone who's nine. Yes. Right. The point of this is, the heart, is that we are built up in God for ourselves, and then from that point we are able to help to build up the next generation from the overflow. 

[00:05:14] Charnae: We're blessed to have our international guest from St. Lucia. Yes! Alright now. And so, wherever you are listening to this, that, whatever age you are, I always say that if we are still here, God still has a purpose. Amen. So, it doesn't matter your age.

[00:05:34] Charnae: You may think, well, I'm too young. Somebody's looking up to you. You may think I'm too old. Mm-hmm. Somebody is looking up to you. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And the thing is, is that whether we know it or not, people are always watching us and they are learning more from what we do than what we say. Mm-hmm. Yes. And so, the Titus Two woman that we all aspire to be. Mm-hmm. Is to be the woman who has the action, who has the life that reflects God. Amen. Yes. Rather than just speakers, right? Mm-hmm. We wanna be doers of the word, not just talking. Yes. And so that's the heart of what I was saying. 

[00:06:13] Sebra: So, what would you say to the woman out there who wants to be the Titus Two woman, or even the woman out there who may not even understand what the Titus Two woman is about, but she's run up on this podcast, and she knows her life doesn't look like that, but she's actually raising daughters of her own now? Mm-hmm. Because I know for me, when I was raising daughters, who I am now and who I was back then, yeah, kind of not so much the same person. So, what would you say to that person who's struggling in raising her daughters right now? 

[00:06:47] Charnae: I have the same testimony. I have a good relationship with my kids. but it wasn't always that way. On the way here, mom and I were listening to the Thorny Theresa episode. So that's the, the episode where Allie and I are talking about that mother daughter dynamic. Yes. And when I listen to it, it just reminds me of the growth that I had. Right. And something that we talked about in that episode is that sometimes as a mother, you're trying to give your daughter something you don't have. Yes, yes. But you want your daughter to have that. Mm-hmm. You want your daughter to be courageous. You want her to be confident. You want her to be a woman of God. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. But then you could look back and you can say, well, I wasn't always that. When I was her age, I wasn't walking right. 

[00:07:31] Charnae: Because I know my own story, I'm not so sure how can I impart something to her that I don't have. Yes. And so, for me, I think the first part that hits me is starting with you. And starting with your relationship with God. It's starting with your walk with him. It's starting with your study of the word. It's starting with the seed of the word. How is it sown into your heart? Mm-hmm. That's the starting point. Mm-hmm. 

[00:07:58] Charnae: Because it's from that place as you grow, as you mature, as you experience different things. Mm-hmm. Right. As you learn different things on your walk with God. Mm-hmm. It empowers you, and then when it empowers you in a particular area, you'll be able to sow that seed into your daughter. Mm-hmm. Amen. 

[00:08:15] Charnae: It's a process. Mm-hmm. You're not just going to sprinkle some fairy dust on it and boom, you're there. No, because I'm still maturing in my walk with God. Amen to that. Mom is older, she's still maturing in her walk with God. You're still maturing in your walk with God, but we still have a level of knowledge. Mm-hmm. From the word of God. Mm-hmm. That we cannot diminish. That's true. And that we can impart in some way.

[00:08:40] Charnae: And the thing I love about God is he'll bring the people to you who need the thing that you already have. Mm-hmm. And that you are growing in. Yes. Yes. So, with your own children, they're gonna come to you with the things and the concerns, the issues, and the problems that you're growing and developing in. 

[00:09:00] Charnae: I love transparency, especially when you're raising kids. You need to be transparent, right. I explained to my kids, I didn't have a perfect life. The woman that I am now is not the woman that I was then.

[00:09:12] Charnae: Mm-hmm. Yes. Okay. And because they've been with me long enough, they can attest. Right. It's a blessing too when they can see my growth. Mm-hmm. Sometimes when I'm talking with my kids, I am expressing my experiences in the word of God and what I've grown to know.

[00:09:28] Charnae: Right. And hopefully something of that will speak to your heart. Mm-hmm. That I made mistakes in this area. And I can see the pitfalls that can come for you making the same mistakes. Mm-hmm. But me being in a different place now, looking back and being able to say, I wish I knew. I wish I listened.

[00:09:46] Charnae: Ooh, I wish I listened. 

[00:09:48] Sebra: Say that one again. Okay. I wish I listened. 

[00:09:50] Charnae: Okay. I wish I listened. In case you may want to listen. Mm-hmm. Here is what I have to impart to you. 

[00:09:56] Sebra: And you know, that's a hard lesson to learn from both sides of the fence, because I remember when I was growing up, and my sister would try to impart wisdom into me, and let's just say was a little hardheaded, a little rebellious, and kind of wanted to do life my way because my primary thought was, what do you know that I don't know? Or why should I listen to you? Mm-hmm. 

[00:10:22] Sebra: When you're young, for some reason, you think you're invincible and you think you know everything. Mm-hmm. So, I didn't listen. And even as I grew older, I had to look back. Mm-hmm. And see some of the things that she was telling me that they were for my benefit. And it's the same way with God. Sometimes, you know, we read the word and we'll see something and it's like, but we don't wanna do that. But then if we would just listen to God, we would recognize he's not trying to harm us, he's trying to help us.

[00:10:51] Sebra: And so, I think that's one of the key dynamics of a mother-daughter relationship. It's not what I had with my daughters, but it's what he's teaching me now to have with the spiritual daughters that he brings my way. Because, like you said, he does send women your way, because where you've been or even where you are can help them along in their journey.

[00:11:15] Sebra: Right. And so, my prayer often for my own daughters is that God would send them a spiritual mother to speak into their lives. Absolutely. The way he has anointed me to speak into other women's lives. Mm-hmm. 

[00:11:29] Charnae: We're talking about sowing. Mm-hmm. Right? Sowing seeds. And sometimes where your seed is sown is not necessarily where you reap. Yes. Right? Because from my own experience I may say something to my children, they may not listen to me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But someone else will come oftentimes and say the very same thing. Exactly. And then my kids would listen to what they're saying. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now, I don't know about anybody else listening to this, but that used to irritate me. Oh yeah. Because I would be like, wait a minute, wait a minute. I have said this thing to you a hundred times and you didn't listen. They said it to you one time and now you're listening. 

[00:12:02] Sebra: But if you think about it, if we go back to what we talked about last season with the Parable of the Sower and the Seed, that's the breaking up of the fallow ground. Mm-hmm. That's that seed being scattered time and time and time and time again until it finally cracks through that soil and hits good soil.

[00:12:20] Charnae: Absolutely. And that is what God literally put it on my heart, like, does it matter? Mm-hmm. Cuz it would be a situation with my husband, like we're having conversations about something and then he comes on, he's like, guess what? So and so, and I'm like, what?

[00:12:33] Charnae: We've had this conversation, I sent it to you. Now you're acting like it's new news. And I would get irritated. And then God was like, what is really the heart of that? Right. Do you want it to come from you or do you want it to come? And then I had to recognize that my heart was really upset because they weren't listening to me.

[00:12:53] Charnae: That I wasn't the one who I said it and you listened. Mm-hmm. Right. And so, I think too, that the importance of a Titus Two woman is she's gotta recognize you may be sowing seed, seed, seeds and breaking up that ground, and the revelation may come from someone else, but if it's not about you, then their celebration that they got it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What is it? Not the avenue that it came. 

[00:13:14] Sebra: Yeah. What is it? Paul says, one man plants another man waters. Absolutely. And God gives the increase. So, all that planting and all that watering, it happens outside of us. The increase happens outside of us and the glory for the increase comes and goes to God. 

[00:13:30] Charnae: Amen. But see, I was, planting and tilling that soil and I was putting my seed in and I was watering it every day. I wanted the flower. I was like, wait a minute. I wanna smell the flower. How is somebody else smelling my flower? That's that maturity piece. Girl.

[00:13:43] Charnae: And I was like, look, I'm doing all this work, but it's not about me. And I think that once I realized that, that it's not about me, then I was able to be like, thank you, God, that they got it. Mm-hmm. It doesn't matter if it was me or not, but they got it.

[00:13:58] Sebra: They got it. Yes. And I think that's going to be very relevant as we go forward into the topic of the armor, because a lot of times we try to make other people in our own image. Mm-hmm. Instead of allowing them to be who they are. Mm-hmm. And so, as we start going forth into the armor and getting deeper into that, we have to be careful not to present it in a way where we are trying to make other people wear our armor, but we're helping them to put on their own armor.

[00:14:30] Charnae: Absolutely. it's just that one thing that I'm in awe again because I'm like, which one should I listen to just to kind of get refreshed? And I chose Thorny Theresa and what you're talking about is actually what it was talking about. Mm-hmm. As a mom trying to make your daughter into the image you want them to be right.

[00:14:47] Charnae: Mm-hmm. Based on, oh, well I don't want my daughter to deal with the same things I've been through, so I wanna fashion her in this way. I still have hurts and disappointments and things. And I don't want my children to face that same type of disappointment. Yes. So, I wanna fashion them this way.

[00:15:01] Charnae: I want them to be different. I want them to be better. Yes. And so, we have to be very mindful too, of talking about the armor of God. Mm-hmm. That we're not like, okay, well this is what my armor looks like. This is how it works for me and everything, so I need to fashion yours like mine. 

[00:15:15] Sebra: Yes. I just feel like it's really important to set that tone. Even before we begin discussing the armor to keep us in check. So, we can come back and listen to this later. Mm-hmm. And remind us, no, you're not trying to teach somebody how to wear your armor. Mm-hmm. You're trying to teach them how to wear their own armor. 

[00:15:36] Patricia: That's, that's true. 

[00:15:37] Charnae: With David and Saul. Yes. Saul was like, hey, this armor works. I have fought in battles. They made songs about me and I was wearing this armor, and this armor works, David. You coming in here with your shepherd clothes. I got some armor that you need to put on. Mm-hmm. And then David, he tried. He did. Okay. So that tells us, that tells us something. That tells us something. Because David did try the armor on. Mm-hmm. That tells us that if we're not careful, others who we are trying to impart wisdom to and impart the word of God to and teach about the armor that they may try to put our armor on. Yes. Because he did do it. 

[00:16:12] Sebra: Yes. I did that once and it didn't work very well. 

[00:16:15] Charnae: Right. I've done that so many times. Tried to put other people armor on, looking at 'em like, oh, this is someone that I admire, and this is the way they're doing. And they read the Bible so many times a day. Yes. I'm like, this doesn't fit. But at the time, I'm not realizing that it doesn't fit. At the time, I'm thinking, what's wrong with, what's wrong with me? Maybe I'm not doing what they're doing right. Wait, what version are they reading of the Bible?

[00:16:40] Charnae: Or maybe it's a particular prayer, like the way that they pray. Maybe they fasted three days and you know, all these things. So, then it becomes like, well, what am I doing wrong? And I didn't realize it wasn't my armor, and so it didn't fit. Exactly. And so, we have to learn from David that David did try to put on armor that was not his. But then David had the wisdom to take it off. Yes. Mm-hmm.

[00:17:02] Patricia: Remember God give each of us a gift. You have to pray for it. Work to see where your gift. Because sometimes what you see in that person is not what you'll see in you. Right? And sometimes you'll want what that is in the person. Yes. And not, even realize that was not yours. That's right. Yes. Now you should work yours for the benefit for everybody to see what gift God gives you so that you can help others in the way he gave you. Yes, because sometimes I will say, mm, Charnae, like to pray a lot, a lot, a lot.

[00:17:36] Patricia: Or go through her Bible a lot, but I like to pray, right? That's the gift God gave me. So, I should teach people when I am praying, what I feel in my prayer, what things I feel in my prayer, so that could help the person work for your gift, pray for your gift. Sometimes you don't know the gift God give you. Go over it. Pray over it. He will give you the understanding for you to see your gift. Yes. 

[00:18:03] Sebra: I like that. I really like that because what I take away from that is, you're fashioned in a certain way. Yes. Mm-hmm. And how you're fashioned. Yes. You can help others in that way. Yes. But if you try to act like Charnae or anybody else. Yes. You can't do anything because that's, that's not your gift. that's not your assignment, that's not your calling, as people like to say.

[00:18:26] Charnae: Right. David had the wisdom to take it off. Sometimes we don't even have the wisdom to take it off. We're just like, well, Saul's king. Here's this royal armor. Yeah. We may say, oh, well I don't wanna take it off because it may be disrespectful. I may be dishonoring the king. I don't have another armor to put on. But I do like that David took it off and he said, you know what? I've got to wear and be who God called me to be and to fight the battle. God has fashioned me to fight the battle. That is the importance that we have to realize, like, we don't want to in any way indicate there is this particular formula. 

[00:19:01] Charnae: You have to seek God for yourself. Mm-hmm. Because he made you unique. Mm-hmm. Now, there are similarities in the armor, right? Yes. There are similarities, but your breast plate of righteousness is going to look different than mine. Yours may have some gems in it. Mine may just be plain. Mm-hmm. But it is still the breastplate. That's the point I think that we ultimately want to get across. The armor pieces are the same. Yes. 

[00:19:24] Charnae: All of us, we have on shirts and we have pants. The necks are kind of similar, they're kind of curved and everything but the sleeves are different. The colors are different. Mom is wearing this beautiful floral print. Sebra's wearing gray and I'm wearing this kind of lime green, but we can all agree these are shirts. The helmet of salvation, we will all put on the helmet of salvation, but it's going to be different. It's going to be fashioned for us.

[00:19:45] Sebra: So, if there's one takeaway or one pearl of wisdom that you want to share with anyone listening to this episode what would be your encouragement when it comes to listening to the episodes on the Armor of God? 

[00:19:59] Charnae: My encouragement for them would be, read the word for themselves, to pray about it for yourself. Yeah. Listen, continue to seek God's face. Yes. As you go through listening to each podcast, be open to hearing what Holy Spirit is saying to you.

[00:20:15] Charnae: There's a reason why we'll say, we'll do a takeaway. It's that thing that you hear, or that you read that seems to jump off the page. That thing on that one page that just kept ringing in your head. You're listening to this podcast, and we've said a lot, but it's just that one point that just keeps sticking out to you. Yes. So that's what we call our takeaways. 

[00:20:34] Charnae: Pay attention to the part that seems to jump out at you and go back and listen again. And if you don't know why, it's jumping out at you. Ask Holy Spirit. Say, why is this jumping out at me? Ask why it may have stirred something in you that you didn't like. 

[00:20:50] Sebra: Say that again. Ooh, girl. 

[00:20:52] Charnae: And you're like, I don't even agree with that. You may genuinely not agree with it, but still why? Yes. Why did that prick you? Yes. Sometimes when you read Titus Two and you read the part that says so that the wives may be submitted to their husbands. Mm-hmm. Yes. Some women don't like that. Yes. That pricks them. They're like, wait a minute, why at the end of the day, this has to go back to me being submitted to a husband?

[00:21:11] Charnae: Seek God. Read the word for yourself. Invite Holy Spirit into your heart to give you eyes to see, give you ears to hear, and give you a heart to receive the word of God. Yes. So that it could be applied to your life, so that when you put on the armor, you're putting on your armor. Yes. And you are ready for the battles ahead. 

[00:21:29] Sebra: Yes. Mom, you have anything else you wanna share? 

[00:21:32] Patricia: Yes. What I'm going to share is everybody that's listened, I'm asking them to pray for me. Patricia Joseph in the country of Saint Lucia. So that I will try to live my life the way God want me to be. I want to practice to live my life and to help other people that's below my age to live the life God want. 

[00:21:54] Sebra: All right now. All right. 

[00:21:56] Charnae: She wants to be a Titus Two woman. 

[00:21:59] Sebra: She working on that well done my good and faithful servant, for real. 

[00:22:03] Charnae: That's right. What about you, Sebra? 

[00:22:05] Sebra: I'm a visual kind of gal, and it wasn't until I could visualize it into its individual pieces and how all those pieces connect, that it really began to come alive for me.

[00:22:17] Sebra: As we go through these episodes, I'm looking forward to reconnecting to what I already knew and hopefully helping someone else connect the dots. Amen. So that they can not only see it, but they can walk in it on a daily basis. Amen. Because as daughters of God, whether we realize it or not, we are in a constant battle.

[00:22:36] Sebra: Yes. And no one should go into battle without their armor. My prayer is that people will take a moment, listen, pray, open their hearts to receive from the Holy Spirit, because at the end of the day, my something to ponder is no one can walk your walk. Amen. But you.

[00:22:55] Charnae: You. Amen. Amen. 

[00:22:57] Sebra: Amen. Amen. 

[00:22:59] Khara: Thank you for listening to the Raising Godly Women podcast and taking this journey with us to be Titus Two women. We pray that the seeds of God's Word shared today fell on good soil. That soil is in your heart. Now we hope that through today's pearls of wisdom, you have gained the tools to help you become stronger, to help you become more confident in your everyday life, most especially as it relates to your walk with Christ. 

[00:23:22] Khara: We also hope that you will share your tools with those who are younger in age, or even maybe younger in faith and help them become stronger and confident, so that they can share with other women passing on the baton to the generation behind them. Just imagine the ripple effect our sharing can have, not only in our generation, but also in the generations to come to build and strengthen the body of Christ as we all come together to empower each other. 

[00:23:47] Khara: So, until we meet again, feel free to join the Raising Godly Women community. Let's talk about your connection with this episode on social media, you can find us on Facebook and Instagram at Raising Godly Women dot RGW. Be sure to tag us because we love to have you connect and be a part of the family. And on that note, may you prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers, Shalom daughters of God Shalom.